I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
