i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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