I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
