Who wears a wallet chain?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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