JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
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I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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