dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
