I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
