operation have a gay friend backfired
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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