Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
