I want to make a zoo with you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
