I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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