all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
