Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize