jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
