You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I love you. Go after that dick
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
