Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
