yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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