You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Boobs are out for the taking
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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