no, he came in my armpit
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
