I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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