it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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