then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
