Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
