somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
