forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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