i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
