i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
