How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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