If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
