I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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