3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just cut my nipple shaving
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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