the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
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her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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