My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
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Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
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They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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