Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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