So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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