i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
