gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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