Nicole vs. Life
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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