I hope mine doesn't look like that
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize