I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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