Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
