Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
