Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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