It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
