Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
