i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
