I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
