i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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