As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize
