If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
