If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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