What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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