This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You smell like stripper and shame
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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