So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
