I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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