She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
