I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
