Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
