ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
