Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize