Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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