My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
